The Greatest Love Story

The day of Matt’s Service in Wisconsin I felt this tugging inside to say some words if the opportunity was presented at his memorial service.  However, I was so overcome with such sorrow that I could not find the strength to stand and speak.  As I drove home from Wisconsin the feeling persisted and I was trying to understand what I supposed to say and when I was to say it, or had I missed the moment.  I felt so sure that I had something I was supposed to do, so I began to reflect on what I would say…. And suddenly it was clear. 

If I had participated in sharing a Matt Story at his wake this is what I was suppose to say…..

 Hello, my name is Erin Davis and I am a friend of Matt’s.  As I considered speaking today I had so many great Matt, Tadd and Erin stories, I couldn’t even begin to tell them all.  However, the more I reflected on this chance to speak, the more certain I became that I had the best story in the world to tell and it had nothing to do with Tadd or myself. 

You see, since Sherie is my best friend in the entire world, I had a great view, a front-row seat, of what I believe to be the greatest love story I have ever witnessed.   And it is this love story that I want to share.  Now, be advised, this is the Matt and Sherie love story from Erin’s vantage point….so there may be errors as I have a horrible memory!   But here is how I remember the highlights….

Once upon a time in a land far, far away (this is how every great fairytale starts!) called Bowling Green there was a fun loving, ex-Georgia, soccer player chick who most guys considered pretty hot.  Now mind you this was the 80’s so she had some poofy hair going on…. But that was hot then.  Sherie had joined a sorority and had an entire group of friends that loved to hang out with her….

I happened to be one of those friends, fortunate for me, I like to consider me her trusty side kick(every superhero needs one!)   Now Sherie was available most weekends to hang out, go to a bar, a date party or a social party, and I enjoyed having her around every weekend, we all did.  Sometime in 1986??? I think…. Sherie started disappearing on weekends all of the sudden!  Much to my chagrin, she was often going home to Dayton, or visiting a “friend” at UC.  Finally Sherie fessed up and admitted to meeting a guy named Matt.  For the details on the “Initial Meeting” see Eric Schmidt, as I think he was responsible for this mess!  She was almost giddy the first time she told us about him, I vividly remember her guarded words like, “we’ll see what happens, or he seems nice” but I was also watching her face and she lit up like a Christmas tree when she said those things and it was clear she didn’t feel so casual at all…..

I must admit to my initial jealousy associated with this Matt guy stealing my friend’s time and attention.   Thank God for Guard weekend because we, or more importantly I, got Sherie back for the weekend!   Ok that is my selfish side.  The real guard story is that those were the weeks that Matt & Sherie went 2-3 weeks without seeing each other and it was really hard on Sherie.   During one of those guard stints, I remember being in Sherie’s room on a Friday night when the “Knight in Shining Armor” showed up at her door unexpectedly.   I don’t remember many details, but I do remember the way Matt looked at Sherie.   WOW.  It was obvious to me that he had a longing in his eyes that equaled Sherie’s feelings for him.  That was when I knew this was no passing thing.  And that was when I was sure he was the real deal.  (Obviously, I left the room!)

 I remember one weekend we had a date party and I am guessing Matt’s friends were tired of Matt being with Sherie on weekends too, because he brought a car load of his fraternity brothers to our Date party….Yeah Dates for everyone!   Don’t ask me who ended up with who….I just know I was not involved as I was dating this really Hot guy then, who happens to be my Husband.  So he was my date.  This was the first weekend I got to know Matt a little bit…and my boyfriend Tadd did too.  With all of Matt’s friends in town, he still took the time to get to know both of us.  Maybe he was going to be OK after-all.

Now Sherie and I were pretty good friends, however when Matt and Tadd hit it off, this sealed the deal for a friendship that would last forever!  Sherie and I were amazed how we ended up with two very similar men(this is a complete story in itself).  Tadd and I got married, and we were anxiously awaiting the “proposal” from Matt, as was Sherie.  I will never forget that special late night call from Sherie.  “Shhh, Erin?  I’m in the closet and I have to be quiet” I knew it was Sherie.  “What are you doing in the closet?” I whispered.  “I promised Matt I wouldn’t tell anyone yet, but I had to call you….he proposed!” she whispered back.  “Gotta go before he catches me in the closet!”  And that was that…..they were engaged.  I honestly never understood why she called me from the closet until after Matt passed away.  I was sharing the story with Sherie and she had completely forgotten about calling from the closet.  “Oh Yea, I remember that” she said, “Matt didn’t want anyone to know before his parents”  So Sherie and I apologize to Anne and Mike for breaking the appropriate order for announcing an engagement.  But I believe that Matt expected Sherie to run to a closet with a phone as he knew Sherie very well!

Matt and Sherie were never one’s to want to do things separately, so planning a bachelor and bachelorette party wasn’t your standard event.  They are the first couple in the world to have a combined party!  We started separate, and then had the boys versus girls scavenger hunt that involved limousines, a few cocktails and a lot of fun!  Their wedding party got to know each other real well that night and the wedding ended up being a total blast because of how well we got along.

For detailed bachelor party Matt Stories, see his brothers and friends, I am certain they have a few!  Sherie on the other hand was an absolute angel at her bachelorette party, that is my story and I am sticking too it.

The wedding was beautiful and the reception a blast, everyone had a great time. 

We all entered the next chapter of our lives, working on our careers and beginning our families.  Sherie and Matt started their family with ELROY!  We all loved Elroy, he was the first child for everyone as none of us had children yet. 

  Matt was always very concerned with providing a standard of living for Sherie which she was accustom too, he very much wanted to be a good provider.  Now Sherie was content to live in a shack, if Matt was living in it with her, however Matt worked hard and constantly tried to improve his skills so that he might achieve success in his career.  We had many a late night conversations about this issue.  Matt was always concerned that Pete and Nancy had set a high bar, and he wanted to make sure he was able to do the same for her.  Achieving promotion after promotion, and moving from state to state.   I would tell Tadd we were going to the Schleichs for the weekend and he always answered with, “What state would that be this time?”  Matt’s career was completely on track as he achieved his Masters Degree in BA and ultimately has provided Sherie and his family with a beautiful home and financial security.  All the way through, Matt’s focus was on providing for his true love.  Matt’s career effort was truly an expression of his love for Sherie.

 While the rest of us were starting our families, life was not so simple for Matt & Sherie.  This period of their life was both the saddest and yet the most beautiful.  While painful was the five years of fighting infertility, it yielded the best example I have ever seen of a loving strong marriage.  We all watched from afar as they suffered disappointment after disappointment.  Yet Matt in his most loving and practical way, knew what was best for Sherie.  He did three great things during this period. 

 Matt knew that Sherie could fall into a painful cycle of grief, and he wouldn’t allow her to go there….he completely understood her and what was best for her.  So I usually received my call from Sherie in the first 24 hours and we would cry and then she would work hard to move on after that 24 hours.  (I hope Matt will forgive Sherie and I, but occassionaly we broke the 24 hour rule late at night while he was sleeping).   Most marriages wouldn’t survive such turmoil over five years, but Matt and Sherie’s got stronger and more loving.

When they decided to adopt to have their family, again Matt showed his incredible capacity to love.  He agreed to an Open Adoption as he heard Sherie’s passion for the open method and he understood it was best for Sherie and their future children.  Audrey Lynn was the most wonderful news Matt & Sherie could ask for……their child for which they had waited six years, had arrived.  What an amazing and special day.    Who could ever have imagined after six years of struggling to have a family that they would also be blessed with Katherine Grace and most recently, a son, Grant Michael.  Matt was always grateful to his children’s birth parent’s for choosing them for Audrey, Kate and Grant. 

  As Sherie called it, this was their period of the “charmed life”, when everything was right in their world. They were truly in love with each other and their three children.  Joy would describe the life they lead. 

 Matt’s love for Sherie and the children didn’t stop on December 15, 2008.  Matt showed his intense love for Sherie and his family through two of his most loving actions.

First, he made sure that financially they would be taken care of.  He made sure Sherie could stay home with the children until they were completely in school, or until she wanted to go back to work.  We used to tease Matt about how fiscally conservative he was, and how liquid he needed to be.  He always said it was for an emergency. 

I kept telling him to invest it more aggressively, they were young and he didn’t need that kind of emergency money.  He just said no, I can’t.  His amazing love for his family wouldn’t allow him to take any chances that they were not provided for in the event he had to leave them untimely.  I was wrong, he was right. 

 The last and most important act of love he showed Sherie and the children was making sure that we in this world knew that he secured his place in heaven for eternity.  Sherie told me she knows this in the deepest part of her heart, because she knew Matt so intimately.  I know this because Matt told me.  See on our visits to Matt & Sherie’s, we would put the kids to bed and then Sherie & I drank a little wine, and Tadd & Matt had a little beer and jagey(sound familiar to all of Matt’s friends?).  By the end of the night Sherie and Tadd would fall asleep (Sherie would usually just disappear) and Matt and I would stay up and talk.  We typically solved all of the world’s problems, man we were brilliant at 3AM after a few cocktails!  We talked business, politics and world peace to name a few subjects.  But one night we discussed our beliefs.  Matt told me as clear as day that Jesus Christ was his Savior and he was confident in his salvation.  He was sure he would end up in heaven.  He did not waiver one second, he said it with such conviction! I had to fight my tears that night.

 I am confident that the mortal Matt, the man would have negotiated with his Savior at the gates of heaven to come back and take care of Sherie and his children.  But Jesus stood at those gates and called the spiritual man home, and Matt now understands God’s purpose, and has joy in his place in heaven. 

One day we will understand why Matt had to go now, ending the most beautiful love story I know here on earth.  However, this will be but one chapter in this love story, the time when Matt went to heaven and Sherie stayed on earth to finish their calling as parents.  I am confident there are more chapters to this love story we will all witness when we meet him again. 

Thank You Matt and Sherie for sharing your love with all of us, and letting me personally witness such a love story.  I am honored.